How’s it going, Hentai Gang? It’s ya boi Victor, back for another article… that almost never was! You see, I got my third vaccine earlier this week and was absolutely knocked THE FUCK out for a couple of days. I was worried I wouldn’t be able to write something for you all this week, but you know what? I made the time. Not only because I’m a good dad, but because I’m just so excited to tell you all about DLsite’s brand new App section! If you’ve got an Android-compatible device, boy have I got a treat for you… everything on this list is playable on that very device! And these are all in English, too, as if you needed another reason to give them a try! Also, ignore the dad thing. I’m not your dad and it should be quite obvious that I’d be a terrible father.
What is the App Section?
Hehehehewehehe, you know what? There’s nothing I love more than playing porn games at the coffee shop. No, I don’t lug my entire computer there every day – I’m not writing a screenplay or anything – I simply bring my phone and load up DLsite’s App section! Not only is it packed with Android-compatible classics, but thanks to the magic of their special App Generator, they’re able to miraculously transform PC games into smartphone apps! The same way the barista miraculously transforms “Victor” into “Bickler” on my cup, every single time. And more converted games are added regularly, so check in often! Now you never have to go long without that good ol’ DLsite content… but maybe don’t bust it out in a public space. Only I can do that. I have a doctor’s note and everything.
Featured Works!
This game has a special place in my heart — not only did I play it on the release date, but I’ve always thought the story was kind of neat. It’s about an assassin who’s contracted by an orphaned little girl to wipe out the bandit leader that killed the girl’s family. The price: a simple teddy bear, the only thing the girl has left in the world. Pretty touching stuff for a hentai game, right? No worries, there’s far more cumming than crying in this one. It’s your job to sneak around as Krone and plunge deeper into the depths of the bandits’ hideout without being discovered. The gameplay is a bit reminiscent of the original Metal Gear, and there’s even a sneak attack technique to help you get the drop on some of the peskier foes floating around the hideout. It’s a little short, but it’s definitely sweet, too!
“Ninja girls v.s. demons” is a trope that stretches back a few decades at this point. When I was 11. I used to watch La Blue Girl at my friend’s house after he’d fallen asleep, and you know what? The concept hasn’t lost any of its appeal. In Kunoichi Tsubaki, you’ll get to use sexy ninja techniques to defeat a variety of demonic entities known as “warlords”. Like any good ninja, Tsubaki’s got a lot of tools in her arsenal — transformation, seduction, and yes, a sneak attack (again). She can even work at a whorehouse to earn some gold to finance her adventure. But battles won’t be easy, and she’ll be hard-pressed to avoid enemy restraint attacks… unless you just let them happen, as I’m sure you will. It’s not that I don’t trust you, I just trust the sexiness of the game a little bit more. Don’t be mad.
“You are reincarnated into another world as a hero. There, you make good use of your time and special powers to impregnate your new mother and older sister!”, says the product description. I mean, what kind of hero would you be if you didn’t do that exact thing, am I right? Probably, like… a good hero. But you know, it is what it is. And “what it is” is loads and loads of touchy, feely gameplay, featuring lots of creampies, a tiddy size slider, and a boatload of customization options! And also some orcs. True heroes don’t hog the glory, after all. Get it? “Hog”? Because orcs are usually depicted as porcine? Oh, how I delight myself.
Did you APPreciate those recommendations?
I generally don’t APPologize for anything. Not for that pun, not for being a hashtag “real one”, and not for the time I asked an idol what she was “doing after this” without realizing that probably sounded weird and like I was trying to get a date. I genuinely just wanted to know if she had a fun night planned for herself, and honestly I probably should apologize for that one some day. So I guess there are two things I should apologize for, and the SECOND thing is not telling you about the App section sooner. But I mean, I HAD to do some other stuff, and that Aristocrats joke (if u know u know) was totally worth it, right? Right? There must be some fans of niche stand-up bits in the sea of hentai-likers out there, right?
Anyway, enjoy playing porn games on your phone.