Hey guys! You’ll be pleased to know that I managed to bust out my Hentai Playground cohort from the basement his mom trapped him in and he’s now living happily out of his 1997 Honda Civic until he finds a more permanent home for himself and his massive collection of early PC hentai games. Meanwhile, I’ve been busy analyzing sales data on the latest doujin releases and have compiled them in a fun top ten list so you’ll know exactly what to buy so you can be considered cool by your posse. Check it out!
There’s a lot of crossover between shojo anime and hentai. Take magical girls, for instance. In shojo anime, they’re young heroines of justice, trying to make sense of the world while fighting evil. Their naivete and sense of duty make them prime targets for hentai violation fantasies, though it doesn’t have to be non-con. Take this game, for instance, which, in the vein of Cookie Clicker, has you obsessively clicking on a magical girl to get points you can spend on ways to get more points. Or titjobs and bukkake. Make sure your clicking finger has plenty of rest before engaging.
Speaking of popular targets for violation, a little further along the Japanese pop culture shelf from magical girls, just past the transforming heroines, you’ll find the lady warrior/adventurer, who always goes it alone no matter what the peril, and inevitably ends up getting defeated and humiliated. In this CG collection (I guess maybe there’s some legal reason why we can’t call it a manga, even though it looks a lot like a manga), warrior lady Proudia gets tricked by a male hero who is jealous of all the attention she’s been getting. No true hero would stand for that! What it lacks in originality, it makes up for in volume – over 370 pages of heroine violation. That works out at, like 2 cents a page. That’s what I call value.
Molesting girls on trains is an ancient and sacred intangible cultural asset of Japan that was narrowly pipped to the post in gaining UNESCO World Heritage Status in 2019 by the American tradition of passing out in one’s own vomit on St Patrick’s Day. This game celebrates the act of “chikan” by having you feel up a girl on the last train home. Do a good job pleasuring her while avoiding getting caught and the scene will progress to more advanced sex play. It’s not what I would call a deep experience, but there is an Android version, so you could even play it on a train.*
*Hentai Playground accepts no liability for any legal trouble you may encounter as a result of playing this on a train.
Japan is no stranger to pizza obscenity. They put seaweed and potato and corn on pizzas, for crying out loud. Here, though, you can experience a different variety of pizza-based impropriety courtesy of established 3D hentai creators Umemaro 3D. Two pizza delivery girls with huge tits show off their parlor tricks (get it–because they’re from a pizza parlor?) in the hopes of securing repeat business. I guess they come from the school of thought that says pizza tastes better when it’s gone cold.
Aoharu Fetishism is back with the third installment of their elf foreign exchange impregnation series. The story initially saw a high-born elf come to our world to get pregnant by you, the listener of this audio work, then had her maid visit and do the same, and now features both characters returning, pregnant, for more inappropriate high school sex antics. Aoharu is one of the most successful doujin audio circles out there, using dummy-head microphones to create a realistic 360 degrees of sound sensation. If you like the idea of two noble elves debasing themselves for your cock then you should definitely check the series out.
Next up is a game from prolific doujin RPG developer dieselmine, which is all about escaping from a mansion of succubi who want to love and coddle you and suck all your cum out. Um…are we sure we want to get out of this place? I mean, I guess succubi are notorious for draining men of their life force, but there are worse ways to go, right? Though the game is described as an RPG, it’s really more of an exploration puzzle game with stealth elements. Solve puzzles to progress while hiding/running from the boss succubi who come after you, and mash QTEs to escape if you get caught. With seven different boss succubi coming after you, there’s sure to be one who tickles your fancy. Wait, you guys don’t call it your fancy? That’s what my mom called mine…
At number 4, it’s a side-scrolling action game featuring a heroine with huge breasts. Super original, huh? Well, that’s what I thought too, then I saw some of the enemy types who’ll hump you if you don’t keep them at bay and…there are horny teddy bears with zips on their crotches. I guess that’s bound to be someone’s fantasy, right? In addition to the in-level violation animations you’d expect from this kind of game, there are also animated CG scenes to enjoy, which look like Live2D to me (though there isn’t a mention of it in the description). If you like taking a teddy to bed with you, definitely check this one out.
The full title of this game is Futanari Mesugaki with big-breasts and big-cock who never loses to Semen-squeezing creatures which may give you an idea of the quality of the English translation – but hey, it’s sold pretty dang well, so who am I to judge? Oh, and the developer didn’t add any music, so they advise you to listen to your favorite tracks while playing. Honestly, there doesn’t seem to be a lot of visual variety to the game either, so maybe you can look out the window while playing, look at the people in the street, imagine what their lives are like, invent conflicts between them and their friends and colleagues, create romances between them and the girl from the local bakery… Or, you know, play something else.
Two things that will never go out of hentai fashion are lolis and tentacles, and at number 2 we have a game that combines both. Yuria stumbles into a tentacle nest on her way home and must try to escape. But where’s the fun in that? We want to see the tentacles pleasure her until she loses the will to resist and becomes their birthing vessel, right? Fine, if you want gameplay, then there are skills, abilities and items you can use to fight against the tentacular masses. I won’t tell you how to play your games, as long as you don’t tell me how to write my articles.
Hitting our April number 1 spot is Seal of Lutellaria, a 2D action game positively bursting with boobs and BDSM. Set in a world where a certain place has been enclosed within walls for unknown reasons, and from where no one ever returns, you play as busty warrior woman Ruby who has a massive sword that fires bullets. Combat revolves around careful parrying, dash-dodging, and shooting to avoid leaving yourself open after melee attacks. Losing health damages your clothing, and getting attacked while naked can lead to violation scenes, of which Lutellaria has over 40. From what I’ve played, the translation is serviceable for the most part, and it doesn’t skimp on the cum-milked futanaris in the early game. Definitely worth a look to any 2D doujin action fans.
That’s all we have for April, but be sure to check out our past articles if you want some more inspiration about what to spend your first paycheck of the financial year on. Meanwhile, I’ll be bracing for Japanese summer by bulk-buying dry ice and electric fans. Be sure to also check out the DLsite Discord, where we now have our own account to post notifications for our latest articles, which you can also get by following us on the Twidders!
