*Disclaimer: This week’s article is a simple recipe by a guest writer. While we take every effort to screen all content we post, we’re also pretty busy with this and that, so if any VORE content managed to sneak its way in this week….don’t blame us, ‘kay?

Fall for me has always been the season of nostalgia – more than any other season. There’s an old oak armchair that sits by the window of our spare bedroom, whose windows look out over ours and our neighbors’ backyards. Frannie’s grandfather gifted it to us before he died, and at first we didn’t know what to do with it, as it really didn’t match the coastal/bohemian style we’re going for in the living room. Anyway, it ended up in the back bedroom, and now sometimes Frannie will find me sitting there of a Sunday afternoon, gazing out the window, watching the occasional red or golden leaf flutter down from a tree, and listening to the sounds of children as they run around, snug in their warm down coats. Naturally, at these times my mind drifts inexorably towards Thanksgiving, and the annual gauntlet that must be run to feed a houseful of guests.

One of the main challenges, I find, is keeping your guests happy while you, the host, are busy putting out fires (of the proverbial kind) in the kitchen. I must admit that I do rely somewhat on store-bought nibbles to keep the gals from our gender studies/cashmere knitting circle sated while I’m basting turkeys and simmering cranberries, but I do like to have something of my own out on the table so I don’t feel like a complete failure (I know, I know, I shouldn’t be so hard on myself, but good homemaking is in my blood (a figure of speech; I don’t actually have blood)). That’s why I do some baking a day or two before Thanksgiving, to have treats ready in advance. One perennial favorite is brownies. Unlike muffins or cupcakes, they taste just as good–if not better–after a few days in the fridge as when they’re freshly baked. Now, the recipe you’ll find below is actually another inheritance from Frannie’s family–her maternal grandmother, in this case–but Frannie’s always been a little out of her depth in the kitchen, so the job of making them has always fallen to me. I tweaked the recipe very slightly, but essentially what you’re seeing is a little bit of good old-fashioned Vermont home baking.

Ingredients:

  -1 ½ cups sugar (granulated)

  -¾ cup flour (plain, all-purpose is best)

  -⅔ cup cocoa powser (unsweetened)

  -½ cup powdered sugar

  -½ cup of your favorite chocolate chips

  -2 tbsp organic slime

  -½ cup olive or vegetable oil

  -½ tsp salt

  -2 large eggs from species gallus gallus domesticus

  -½ tsp vanilla extract

Method:

1. You’ll want to get your oven ready by preheating to 325°F (160°C) and lightly grease a medium-sized baking tray. Lay baking parchment in the tray and lightly grease that too.

When you have a hand free, try out ECHIDNA WARS DX. I do so love the retro-style pixel art of these side-scrolling action games, but the real draw for me, as ever, is watching my protagonist get swallowed whole. It is such a joy to find a game that reflects one’s interests.

2. Mix all the dry ingredients in a bowl (so the flour, cocoa powder, sugar, chocolate chips and salt).

With your tertiary auxiliary tentacle (if you have one), you’re going to want to boot up Resonance, a game filled with futanari nuns and dominatrix demons. If that’s not enough for you, there are also tentacles (representation!) and certain abnormal activities, one of which you can see below. I’m getting hungry just looking at it.

3. Mix together your wet ingredients: eggs, oil, vanilla extract and slime (if you are not an extraterrestrial mucus-based organism and have difficulty sourcing slime, you may substitute tepid water). When thoroughly mixed, sprinkle the dry ingredients over the wet ones and blend them together with a wooden spoon or spatula. If Frannie wanders into the kitchen during this time, I like to give her a little squeeze with my occipital slime tentacle, though she typically objects, complaining about how she had to switch to an industrial shampoo to get my mucus out of her hair.

If you are still waiting for your oven to preheat, now would be a great time to have a go at Monster Girls You-kichan – another 2D platformer with plenty of monster girl violation and, yes, my favorite – full-body devouring. Goodness, it almost makes me want to skip the turkey on Thanksgiving and go straight to dessert.

4. With your ingredients nicely mixed, you’re going to want to pour your batter into the baking tray you prepared earlier, then pop them in the oven for about 40-45 minutes. You can test at around the 40 minute mark with a toothpick – if you stab it in the brownies and it comes out clean, they’re done!

But until then, you’ll have some time to spare, so I suggest some ferns bloom, yet another side-scrolling pixel art action adventure. Not only does it have monster and animal violation*, but once again we have our heroine getting consumed in her entirety – and by a mouth in the wall, no less! How novel!

*I admit it’s not easy for us to watch a dog raping the protagonist, since we had to say goodbye to our own faithful pooch, Marshal, last spring.

5. When the brownies are done, lift them out onto a cooling rack, and wait until they’re completely cool before cutting them into even squares or rectangles. With that, you will be all set to keep your guests happy on Thanksgiving day until you can serve up your turkey, stuffing, vegetables and all. I find chocolate to be one of those foods that really disarms people – most people have a sweet tooth to some degree, and it can help put them at their ease so they don’t suspect you intend to consume them whole when they’ve been sufficiently fattened from Thanksgiving dinner, adding their memories and knowledge to your gelatinous glory. Frannie prefers to read a book upstairs while this is going on, of course. Not that I don’t swallow her occasionally, but I do it in jest–not to digest (sorry – slime monster humor – I can’t help myself). After all, if I consumed Frannie, what would happen to my green card? Hahahahahaha!

Anyway, if you, like me, like eating people whole, then you may like some of these: VORE!

*If you need a friendly space in which to unpack after reading this article, please visit the DLsite Official Discord.